David X Rules To Live By

1 – Don’t care what she’s thinking! That doesn’t mean don’t try to understand women in general, it means don’t care what a specific chick is thinking at any specific time. Just don’t care. If you do, you’ll be thinking for 2 people while she may very well be thinking for nobody. Just let it go. What you may be thinking about what’s on her mind is ONLY what you think is going on, most likely totally wrong anyway. Stop thinking what she’s thinking and stop thinking FOR her. You’ll end up with less worries, have twice the brainpower available for yourself, and will come across as more direct and powerful.

2. Don’t forget rule #1

3. Follow through. That means, if you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you get her worked up over something you are going to do with or to her, follow through. If you don’t follow through, women will hate you for it.

4. Have control. Keep control. You either have control or you don’t. And if you have control, you can either keep it or not. So when you have control, keep it.

5. Make rules and stick to them. These are YOUR rules. Things like “I don’t tolerate no-shows.” or “I’ll say something ONCE – I do not repeat myself.” Don’t be afraid to tell chicks your rules as long as you know you won’t break those rules in front of them. Most guys don’t have any rules so you will, at minimum, set yourself apart. ( note: this means you may need to think what your rules actually are )

6. Don’t break your own rules, ever. Once you break one of your own rules in front of a chick, you will begin lose control of your situation with that chick.

7. Have a structure and stick to it, no matter what. Be consistent. This also relates to having a set of rules and sticking to it.

8. When part of your structure doesn’t work consistently, analyze that part, figure out why it doesn’t work, and repair just that part. Don’t replace your whole structure just because one aspect of it doesn’t work right. Fix just that part and keep improving your structure over time.

9. Be aggressive and direct when initially approaching chicks. Don’t beat around the bush. Chicks don’t have a clue why you’re there – tell them. Just don’t be crude about it.

10. Don’t lie, but you don’t have to give them the whole truth, either. Never lie to a chick – it’s not worth it. The truth is always better and it’s easier to remember. “The best lie is the truth.”

11. Be decisive and lead. Chicks need to be lead. They don’t want an indecisive pussy. Don’t say, “I don’t know… what time is good for you?” Say “I’ll be there at 6 O’clock. Meet me then.” Don’t be afraid to be a little late. They hate it when you’re early and hate you even more when you’re right on time. Make them wait a bit. They will respect you. If they disrespect your time, drop them.

source: Fast Seduction

That’s in part because there are so many holiday parties and social engagements that arise in the month of December, increasing your odd of finding someone special.

Haben has 5 tips for holiday dating:

1) Parties Galore: Attend all parties you are invited to and make sure that you go with your friends to their parties as well. You will have the chance to expand your social network and blind date opportunities at the same time. Go to all parties such as: Work, friends, family, church etc… Who knows Mr. Right could be waiting for you under the mistletoe!

2) Flash your smile: When you smile at people, you make them feel good by acknowledging their very existence. Men will approach you if they feel you are interested enough to acknowledge them. Smile and make eye contact for 4 seconds. By doing this, your smile conveys that you are friendly and open to conversation.

3) Look Your Best: Make your first impression a lasting impression. While everyone else is wearing the little black dress choose a beautiful jewel toned dress in either green, red, or blue. Make sure that the dress you wear makes you feel attractive. Their is nothing sexier than a woman who feels pretty. Tips to look for are flattering color, great fit and a style that flatters your body type. Remember look good and feel great!

4) Be Friendly and Outgoing: When you go out, please be warm and friendly. Body language is everything–don’t fold your arms, lean against the wall or hide in the kitchen. Stand front and center and introduce yourself to everyone. If you are to shy to do that on your own have the host or hostess introduce you to everyone. Put a smile on your face and think happy thoughts as people are naturally drawn to attractive happy people.

5) Keep Expectations Realistic: Be realistic with your expectations of any event you attend. You might meet some great new people, or not. But that doesn’t keep you from having a good time and making the most of what is available. Attitude is everything, make a point of enjoying every event regardless of the outcome. Happiness is a choice and your chances of meeting Mr. Right go up substantially if you are happy. If the party isn’t what you expected, enjoy the people who are there. Once again, you just never know who might be the connection to the partner of your dreams.

source: ABC15

A quick DESTINY poll revealed that most men aren’t intimidated by women who make the first move… go get him, girls!

by GILLIAN BLOCH

These days, more sisters are doing it for themselves. But in the dating world, being the one who makes the first move remains a daunting prospect. Experts say that tapping into your feminine charms will make man-capturing easier than you think!

What the men say
When we asked a select group of men what they thought about women who make the first move, their overall response was favourable, although a subtle approach was preferred. Consulting director, Eddie Mnene (34) said “if a woman approached me tactfully, I would acknowledge her guts and take it as a challenge.” 34 year-old buyer, Zakehele Ndima said, “I’m comfortable with it, but her approach must be decent and not too obvious: she should be classy and make me feel as if I’m also doing the chasing.”

Tips on making the first move
Dating coach, Tuming Lee agrees. While she believes that a man should make the first move, she says that women can prompt men into action by pursuing them correctly.  “Our makeup is different to men, so don’t use their tactics to make the first move,” says Lee. “Capturing a man’s romantic interest is a process, not a one-off event. Patience is required.” Lee offers the following tips for making the first move.

Ask questions
Men are interested in women who are interested in them. Asking the said male the right questions can be a great way to capture his attention. According to Lee, asking him whether he has a girlfriend shows that you’re interested and enables you to gauge whether he is. Asking your target male anything about his personal life will engender feeling of closeness, thus placing you on his dating radar.

Befriend his friends
Once you become part of your man’s social circle, you are well on your way to becoming part of his life. His friends will also probably support you when they find out that you’re into him. Use his friends to fish for information.

Invite him out
Inviting the object of your affection to a friend’s party is a great way to gauge his feelings and get him alone. You will be the only person he knows at the party, thus forcing him to focus his attention on you. Furthermore, if he accepts your invitation he probably likes you and has picked up on your signs.

Know when to let go
Developing a romantic relationship should be a natural process. If he is not responding, let it go and date other people. You may discover that you were stopping yourself from meeting the right one or alternatively your active love-life will make the man you were pursuing suddenly take notice.

Tuming’s last word to women pursuing a man is: “If you know you can’t handle possible rejection, don’t pursue it.” Yet pursuing the right man can secure a happy romantic destiny.

To contact Tuming Lee for a private consultation call her directly on 083 379 1957.

1. Quit dating guys who are on the rebound
Guys on the rebound aren’t looking for relationships, they’re looking for flings and fast hook-ups. And you know what happens to flings once the chemistry fizzles? They get the ol’ “I think we should just be friends” talk. So save yourself the time and trauma and skip the rebound guy, no matter how hot he is.

2. Don’t be too available
Guys like challenges and they’re most intrigued by women who have active lives, so keep things interesting by only accepting half his invites to hang out. Tell him you have other plans, but be vague about what they are. At this point, vague is sexy, vague is challenging, vague is something he wants to figure out.

3. If he seems out of your league, don’t waste your time
Not necessarily because he IS out of your league, but because if you think he is, you’ll treat him like someone you don’t deserve, and that’s so not sexy.

4. Don’t talk about past relationships
Wanna know the fastest way to make a guy your friend? Treat him like your therapist and whine about all the ways your past boyfriends hurt you. Making yourself the scorned victim doesn’t exactly scream ‘sensuality’…or, you know, ‘awesome mental health’. What it does do, though, is make you not worth the hassle, no matter how hot you are.

5. Don’t over-compliment
If he’s got great hair, a hot bod, sexy lips, a cute accent, and a wicked sense of style, chances are he already knows he does. You know why? Because every other girl who wanted to bang him told him a 100 different ways already. So set yourself apart from those other yahoos and keep your compliments to yourself for now. Once he falls madly in love with you there will be plenty of time to tell him how much you like his dimples.

6. Keep dates romantic
Guitar Hero and pizza delivery is not a date, it’s a night with your sister and brother-in-law and all their married friends. If you aren’t exclusive yet and still in danger of landing in the Friend Zone, only go on dates that would be awkward to have with your brother.

7. Get physical, but not too physical
There’s a fine line between being sexually assertive and completely aggressive. The former is confident, sexy, intriguing, and definitely more than a friend. The latter can easily seem lonely, insecure, needy, and like one of the Bachelorettes who cries in the limo when she doesn’t’ receive a rose. If you were a guy which one would you want to keep around

source: TheFrisky.com

Valentine’s Day is Saturday. If you haven’t found Mr. Wonderful by now, it’s probably too late for this year.

But take heart, there’s always 2010.

To help you out in your quest, we talked to some experts for insight into how to recognize a keeper when you come across one. It’s important, they said, to realize that he may not be your clone — extroverts and introverts can mix, often quite nicely. Nor does he have to be the hottest or most charming guy in the room.

Likewise, they added, you might want to steer clear of guys who yell at waiters, pay too much attention to their cars or don’t seem to have any friends.

In talking with our experts — they included dating gurus and life coaches — we came up with seven signs that you’ve found one to take home to Mama:

•He shares your values, whether spiritual or religious.

•He gives you what you need to feel loved — provided you know what that is and can make that clear.

•He is authentic and has integrity. A truly wonderful guy treats people well; he recognizes his strengths and weaknesses and is not ashamed of them.

•He is responsible, responsive and reliable. He strives to do the right thing and mostly does.

•He’s a good listener. He’s a giver, not a taker.

•He wants what you want; if you want commitment, he does, too. He’s looking for a Ms. Wonderful.

•He accepts your quirks, moods and ideas, even if he doesn’t agree with them. He gets you.

Sources: Nina Atwood, therapist and author of Temptations of the Single Girl: Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid; Katherin Scott, a personal coach; Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach and co-author of Why You’re Still Single; Mark Robertson, an executive and personal coach; Noelle Nelson, a relationship therapist.

Source: Copyright 2009 Houston Chronicle and you may contact the author corilyn.shropshire@chron.com

If you are interested in interracial or intercultural dating, or have recently initiated a relationship of this sort, there are a few tips you may want to consider as you move forward. What follows are a sampling of a few of these tips.

Look at Your Motivations

Sometimes, people decide to date outside of their own race or culture to challenge the views of their friends or family, as well as themselves. Keep in mind that you are dealing with another human being with feelings, and that it is not fair for you to use them to prove that you are open-minded. Be sure that your heart is in the right place before you take the next step; don’t use people to make a point.

Learn About Their Race or Culture

When you are getting to know someone, it can be quite a challenge finding out what makes them tick. Doing your best to learn a bit about your potential partner’s race and/or culture can help you to understand this individual a bit better. However, you may want to keep this to yourself for the time being. We are all individuals and there is no definitive source on racial or cultural identity beyond actual experience. Religious persuasions and nationality are far easier to research, however.

Examine Your Comfort Level

Sometimes, people involved in relationships outside of their own race or culture feel like they are in the spotlight; this can be especially true in less cosmopolitan areas. Keep in mind that your comfort with this person in and out of the public eye will directly affect the quality of relationship the two of you will share down the road. True love will certainly allow you to see past any of these petty concerns. If you do feel uncomfortable, it will be evident and adversely affect any chance of a true and lasting relationship.

Celebrate Your Differences

Some of the most fulfilling relationships come out of experiences shared between people of disparate backgrounds. You will have similarities, of course, but your differences will help add beauty and dimension to your blossoming relationship. Differences allow you to have more opportunities for talking, discussing, and ultimately getting to know one another and to share in each other’s lives fully.

By-line:

This post was contributed by Holly McCarthy, who writes on the subject of dating websites. She invites your feedback at hollymccarthy12 at gmail dot com

There is an belief that it’s better to give then to receive, it’s better to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, your country, your family or your children. Osho says this is a lie, a blatant lie. The priests and the politicians have held against you from the beginning of time. Even the Oracle at Delphi saying, ?Know Thyself? got it wrong because how can you even begin to know yourself if you do not love yourself? Dr John Gray said in the movie, The Secret, you have to give more to yourself, so that you can begin to overflow, and then you share with others.

When you do not love yourself it’s nothing more than avoiding yourself. Everything you do, watching television, listening to the radio, socialising, working, lovemaking, is all escaping from yourself. So how do you begin to get in touch with that part of you that you have been denying or ignoring? One way is to bring to the conscious mind those good things that you know others see in you, and you see in yourself from time to time. Do the following exercise and share the results with me by posting a comment below.

EXERCISE
Take 4 minutes, 2 each, and tell the person next to you what you like about yourself and why.

Does this sound selfish? Yes, it does sound selfish but have you ever thought of the virtues of selfishness? I say to you that you cannot love others if you do not love yourself. And in fact how much others you, is directly proportional to the how much you love yourself. This may sound like a contradiction but when you sit in silence, and when you realise how magnificent you are, a reflection of divinity, that is when you wake-up from the dream we call existence.

Often you will believe there are qualities in others, that you are attracted to. You think they have certain traits and characteristics, which you deny in yourself. And when you do this again you are condemning yourself as not being good enough. You are all you got in this moment. You are the alpha and the omega in this moment.

When you realise it is not about giving away your love (power) to others and instead it’s about being true to yourself. Only at this point does your love begin to overflow so that you can share it with others. Have you ever considered the advice given by cabin crew on a flight? The normally say, ?In event of an emergency, place the oxygen mask on yourself first, even before you help the granny or the child next to you…? This is because you can only, truly help others or love others, when you love or once you’ve helped yourself.

Tips For How To Love Yourself:

• Ask for a list of things people like about you.
• Make a list of the things you like about yourself.
• Make it part of your daily routine to praise something in yourself or think about something you like about yourself.
• Make a note every time someone says something nice about you.
• Have compassion for yourself or just be nice to yourself more often.
• Use Affirmations like ?Even though I’m overweight I still love and accept myself” which I learned studying Emotional Freedom Technique.

And you can read-up on more self-love tips here. The purpose of this is that you can only love or like people in proportion to how much you like or love yourself. Don’t be fooled by the bullshit from society. Every time you put yourself down you are draining your self-worth, which makes you less and less attractive. Since it’s Valentine’s Day 2008 I’ll recommend a very silly movie called 20 Dates, where one man goes on a quest for love.

According to Tom women want to have a guy around during major holidays like Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day or birthdays. Even if you’ve been with a booty call for a while this is the time to dump her and move on. He says further, “You’ll save yourself the money that would have been spent buying her a present, and there’s a lot of lonely chicks out there who want to be with somebody–anybody. Women want to feel feel validated on the holidays, so they go out on a hunt to find the sucker to buy her presents. Your appeal will be much higher as a man during these times. Sticking around with a girl during these times plants long-term thoughts in her head. You don’t want that for a booty call.”

You see most people are in relationships because its just a dependency under another name. They can’t stand to be alone. In fact they probably can’t stand to be with themselves and relationships serve as a useful distraction to dealing with your own insecurities. So in one way this recommendation is to get you out of this convenience or laziness fix that most people suffer from in the world.

December is the perfect time to meet new women. For example, in a major city like Johannesburg, many people will go to Cape Town or Durban for the holidays. And the women who will be staying around will be the ones who are really feel the pinch. And this is the time to go out to bars and coffee shops (not so much clubs). And just take it easy and hang out. You will find that many of these women in these places are ripe for the picking.

Try some of the following suggestions if you don’t want to pay for the 1st “date”…

• Don’t call it a date – just hang out
• Invite women over to your house to enjoy a bottle of wine
• Meet them at the flea market and go looking for a hard to find gift
• Meet them at a park/lake/beach and go for a walk
• Take them to the opening of an art gallery (usually free with champagne/snacks)

You can get more ideas for cheap dates here. Let me elaborate further. Paying has nothing to do with getting laid. And all women know guys are just trying to get laid. In fact it’s in our evolutionary biology that we cannot fall in love with a women, want friendship/companionship or bonding unless we are physically attracted to you – and that also means – want to have sex with you. An old friend of mine always says women give men sex in exchange for love; and men give women love in exchange for sex. Sometimes reality is harsh but it’s still reality.

Although I’m not a fan of John Gray, this concept is from a quote he makes in the hit movie The Secret. Remember you can contact your friendly neighbourhood Dating Coach here.