The worst kind of first dates these days is a coffee date or dinner. Why? Simply because it leads to an interview style of conversation. And you seek fake rapport with the person. For example what’s your favourite movie? The Matrix – “Yeah! So is mine. That’s awesome.”

So I did an interview with Essentials magazine which should be out in July edition with the following advice irrespective of whether you are using online dating, SMS dating or speed dating to meet people:

1. On a first date consider an activity like tenpin bowling, putt putt or window shopping at a flea market instead of boring dinner dates. An activity has built in conversation and reduces pressure so you have a more naturally flowing conversation.

To build rapport ask open ended questions, go deep into them and keep moving to related topics. When you talk about one thing all the time you will come across as predictable or even boring which kills attraction. Avoid interview style questions.

2. When meeting people for the first time use observation to determine their true behaviour. For example how they deal with the waiter at restaurant.

3. Make sure you are listen. They say to be interesting ? be interested. Consider switching your cellphone off for a while. If the other person answers a cellphone during that first date this sets a very bad precedent of what’s coming down the line.

4. If all goes well before the end the first date suggest a second ?date? but never refer to it as a date, simply suggest an activity as before. And by asking the other person to join you, you show confidence and certainty about what you want and where you’re doing in life.