Your internal state plays a much bigger role in your social success and specifically in your success with the opposite sex. For men this can be very, very problematic. Let me give an example. When you are not feeling good, maybe depressed, maybe lonely or frustrated…you can still drive your car. You get in, start the car and you drive away. If you are angry you may drive faster than usual. If you are lonely you may drive around mindlessly trying to kill time or searching for someone external to you. The thing is you do not forget how to drive your car.

Now for most men this is not the case when it comes to interactions with women. And it goes without saying the more attractive the woman, the more your internal state prevents you from “being normal” around women. So what can you do about this? What can you do to prevent nervousness from destroying your confidence? What can you do to restore your internal state to equilibrium?

The more you ignore this problem, the bigger it is bound to become. Your body becomes conditioned to react in a certain way when you approach women. Even when you are introduced to an attractive women your body will start reacting in the only way it knows how. And this is something you may feel is beyond your control – but it’s not!

You can program your internal state by way of conditioning. What I mean here is by training yourself to respond in the way that you want to. You can begin to sensitise yourself with practise over time. It could take months or it could take years. Now this is where you may want to listen in closely. You can reduce the time to condition your emotions by working on changing the patterns of behaviour. One thing I’ve been doing more and more recently is playing certain types of music on my cellphone/mp3 player when I am about to speak to an audience. I have used the same approach before going out. I’ve chosen some very specific pieces of music that really pushing my internal state way up. Up meaning into a heightened state of awareness as well as a high energy feeling. This is all going on inside of my head and whether I am aware of it or not it’s been having a profound impact on my social interactions.

So what music does this to you? Here’s some suggestions:

• Carmina Burana by Carl Orff
• Imperial March (DarthVader’s Theme) by John Williams
• Aria by Yanni

There are many more. For some people rock music may do it. For some people some other kind of music may do it. The thing is to remember you are not helpless. You can change your internal state. You can have a deeper sense of well being when you choose to control your internal state. And in a very circular way success in social interactions is all about being normal – in “women talk” – just being yourself.

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