When you go on the first date, both you and the woman tends to feel uncomfortable. So here is some tips for you guys who don’t know what to do.Firstly always know exactly what you are going to do. Know what time and what venue, and know where you will go afterwards. When you setup the date, invite the woman to join you. Never ask, ever, ask to “take her out to dinner” or “buy her a drink” – ALL GUYS DO THIS.

My approach is to make sure that I have a good social life and hobbies and interest. So for example I love going to stand-up comedy in Melville, Johannesburg (every Sunday 8pm). So every now and then I will invite a woman to join me. And I’m going anyway whether she is meeting me there, or she is coming with me. And this approach is the opposite of what most guys do. Most of you believe your “dates” with a woman needs to a special event to celebrate the occasion, almost. Well make sure you have regular activities, the more interesting and unusual the better. And invite a woman to join you.

So once you’ve found a woman you want get together with. Here’s a few suggestions for the first activity that is a very low impact:

• window shopping at a flea market, e.g. Rooftop in Rosebank or the famous Bruma Lake
• stand-up comedy I mentioned above
• art gallery openings (I love this one, went to Rembrandt 400 centenary recently)

So after you go to one of the above, you may suggest coffee or a drink. So on the first meeting you wanna take the woman on two to three different venues. This will allow you to build comfort very quickly.

If the woman does not want to go with to the next activity you can do what some call a time bridge. Let me give you two scenarios…

Scenario 1

Some time last year I met a woman at a lounge I frequent called Katzy’s in Rosebank on a Saturday night. I met her again on Tuesday for a quick coffee at Newscafe, Sandton. And I invited her over to my place the Saturday after that. She was hesitant and wanted to bring her friend. I told her to go out with her friend instead and she ended up coming over because I was not forcing the issue and gave her some reassurance that I was not in a hurry. Anyway she stayed over and I will leave the rest to your imagination.

Scenario 2

I met a woman earlier this year at Newscafe, Braamfontein. After a few glasses of wine I took her to Mall of Rosebank because she didn’t want to go home immediately. In Rosebank I took her from the Mall to The Zone and checked out a few books in Exclusive Books. And I asked her if she wanted to go to Katzy’s or my place for a drink. She asked me in return if I had wine (guys get some bottles of wine even if you don’t drink it or enjoy it). And because I always have wine we ended up at my place and this was all in the same evening.

It really comes down to understanding that the more comfortable you can make a woman feel the better it is for both of you before intimacy.

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